College? Really?

So tonight at dinner the topic of conversation was Max and Molly going to college. Brian and I were trying to explain to them that it takes more than good grades to get into college. I can't believe we are having this conversation now. Molly is only going into the 5th and Max is going into the 7th. Regardless of recent press, cheerleading is considered a sport in college. Most colleges send representatives to the larger competitions and literally hand out business cards to girls as young as Molly! Seriously? So now the pressure is on, and we are officially on the road to college. I just can't believe it's happening this soon. Heck, we just need to get Max through the 7th grade, help!

Autism Sucks

Seeing that I just wrote a post about how crappy Hydrocephalus is, I can't go without ranting about how autism sucks. Everyone knows that Matthew was diagnosed with autism over a year ago. At this moment, his future is up in the air. He may be able to forge his way and make a semi-normal life for himself or he may live with Brian and I for a very, very long time. Either way, we are prepared, but obviously, I would love to think he could manage a life of his own. I want what every parent wants. I see ballgames, school events, girlfriends, broken hearts, marriage and children. But, as I write this post, he is running around the living room flapping his arms and slapping his feet on the ground, always referring to himself in 3rd person. He can dance for hours to music only he hears and initially, you think, how cute. Then you realize that he's trapped by the music and he can't stop. The cute goes away very quickly. If I had a dime for everytime I redirected him for referring to himself in 3rd person, or trying to get him to talk like a 6 year old and not a baby, we would be rich. He has so many behaviors that most people would consider "adorable", but to us, they are haunting. My heart bleeds for all the parents of children with autism because I get it and I'm so, so sorry that your child has to be a member of this "club". And, for those of you with "normal" children, the next time you are in a restaurant or public place and see a child misbehaving, don't give the parent that look as if to say, can't you control your child, because, the truth is, no, some of us can't control our children and it has nothing to do with our parenting skills.

Hydrocephalus Bites

Charlie is special, there is no mistaking that, however, it is extremely easy to forget that he has a major life-long illness. A majority of the time, he is a normal, easy going six year old boy. Then something will happen and it hits you, and you frantically study his head, check the shunt, look at his eyes, make sure he isn't seizing, etc. etc. etc. It is scary and it sucks. So, when we went swimming last week, he wanted to wear goggles. No big deal, right? So, over an hour passed and he took them off and I realized that the rubber strap had been cutting into his shunt. The indentation was deep and I went into panic mommy mode. Once I realized he was okay, my thoughts began to go to the dark side. How unfair is it that a 6 year old can't even wear a pair of goggles while swimming? Do I have a right to even be angry about that? It's just a pair of goggles, right? Nonetheless, I'm angry about it. It's just one more thing we have to add to "Charlie's Can't Do" list. This freakin' list keeps getting longer and longer. When you have a child, you don't think that one day you will have to explain to him that no, you can't wear goggles in the pool even if every other child is wearing them because those goggles could potentially kill you. Nice. Now, I know that my ranting is, in the grand scheme of things, ridiculous. It has not escaped my attention that we are lucky to have him, in whatever physical/mental shape he is in. There are parents who have to say goodbye to their children everyday due to all sorts of accidents and illnesses that seem so unfair. I can't even put myself in the shoes of those parents, but also realize that if we don't watch Charlie closely, we could easily be those parents that have to say goodbye. Something as simple as a pair of goggles could cost us the life of our child. If I didn't know better, I'd think, she's really going overboard isn't she, but the fact is, I'm not. Charlie probably does things every single day that put his life at risk and we don't notice. We have become complacent and it's so easy to look at him as a "normal" kid. Well, let me set the record straight, Charlie is anything but "normal". So, to all the parents out there who have wonderful, precious, healthy children, take a minute to thank your lucky stars and say a prayer that your children stay that way.