Autism Sucks

Seeing that I just wrote a post about how crappy Hydrocephalus is, I can't go without ranting about how autism sucks. Everyone knows that Matthew was diagnosed with autism over a year ago. At this moment, his future is up in the air. He may be able to forge his way and make a semi-normal life for himself or he may live with Brian and I for a very, very long time. Either way, we are prepared, but obviously, I would love to think he could manage a life of his own. I want what every parent wants. I see ballgames, school events, girlfriends, broken hearts, marriage and children. But, as I write this post, he is running around the living room flapping his arms and slapping his feet on the ground, always referring to himself in 3rd person. He can dance for hours to music only he hears and initially, you think, how cute. Then you realize that he's trapped by the music and he can't stop. The cute goes away very quickly. If I had a dime for everytime I redirected him for referring to himself in 3rd person, or trying to get him to talk like a 6 year old and not a baby, we would be rich. He has so many behaviors that most people would consider "adorable", but to us, they are haunting. My heart bleeds for all the parents of children with autism because I get it and I'm so, so sorry that your child has to be a member of this "club". And, for those of you with "normal" children, the next time you are in a restaurant or public place and see a child misbehaving, don't give the parent that look as if to say, can't you control your child, because, the truth is, no, some of us can't control our children and it has nothing to do with our parenting skills.